A poem by Amy Owens (Heartbeat Poetry)

The deep blue ocean beckoned me
Like a silent whisper that only I could hear 
Quickly I thought -be spontaneous 
Throw caution to the wind and set sail
The ocean breeze flowing through my hair 
Wide open space, sunshine and salt water 
I packed my belongings and headed for the great unknown 
My mind scrolled through my unwritten list 
Of what I need, I might need and well just incase
Surely this was right for me
After all what could go wrong
This ship could weather any storm
A great adventure awaited
So with the wind in my sails 
I ventured where I’ve never been before 
My mind already had an ideal location 
I could see it, smell it, feel it 
My imagination painted such a beautiful picture 
Etched with happiness, contentment, security 
This would be the life for me 
I was sure God would agree 
I thought what could be better 
Oh how I thanked God 
For the great plan He had for my life 
How wonderful He is
I praised Him for how He had blessed me 
I’m happy so this must be Gods will
I convinced myself 
Even the sun celebrated with me 
As it began to retire for the day 
And painted golden shades of yellow 
Mixed with burnt orange and red
Proving this world is a canvas to showcase Gods artistic love 
Autumn colours now brought an autumn breeze
Cooler yet still beautiful
As it tried to take me in another direction 
I kept a firm grip on my sails 
I’m sure I’m still on the right track 
This was Gods plan - right?
Onward I sailed towards my dream destination 
But the once smooth waters now stirred
The gentle sway of my ship
Turned a little more fierce 
Making it harder for me
To stay upon my feet 
Discouragement, disappointment, 
Fear, doubt overwhelmed me 
I hadn’t planned for this 
Surely if God called me
It should be all plain sailing 
Winter waves now smashed into my hull
As anger rose in my heart 
The sun had disowned me 
Now hidden behind dark clouds 
That wept upon me 
Like the tears that flooded my heart 
As I questioned “where are you God”
“Are you here” “why”
I battled on anxiously navigating 
My own way through the relentless violent storms 
That came one after the other after the other 
My unsinkable was breaking away 
And the icy waters made me gasp for breath 
And I cried out “God save me”
The few moments following I don’t recall
As if in a lapse of time 
But in the midst of noisy chaos 
In the dark of night
I heard a small whisper “do you trust Me”
“yes God I do” I anxiously replied
“Then let go of the shipwreck” He told me 
“I can’t God I will sink” I said desperately 
And again I hear ” Do you really trust Me”
“yes but can you sort this mess and then we can talk”
“Let go of the shipwreck” He said once again
I realised in those moments 
I must trust with my actions not my words
My fingers stiff with fear grasped the remnants of the ship - my safety
And I thought it’s all or nothing 
So I made a choice to let go and let God 
As the waters calmed the sun in the horizon stretched from slumber
To welcome a new day 
To my surprise I realised I was now safely on shore
This wasn’t what I planned 
Or where I expected to be 
Yet I knew it was the beginning of my journey not the end
I didn’t know what was to come 
But I knew He wanted to take me 
To places I had never been 
Deeper to where I alone 
Could never navigate
He was to be the Captain of my ship
He would steer I would trust 
So now when I begin to question 
When I’m afraid to do as He asks 
Or wait patiently for His direction 
I remember in the midst of the storm 
He is my captain, my anchor 
Can I say YES with my actions 
When fear tries to grip me
And His voice echos in my heart
“Do you trust Me?”