Shipwrecked

The deep blue ocean beckoned me
Like a silent whisper that only I could hear
Quickly I thought ‑be spontaneous
Throw caution to the wind and set sail
The ocean breeze flowing through my hair
Wide open space, sunshine and salt water
I packed my belongings and headed for the great unknown
My mind scrolled through my unwritten list
Of what I need, I might need and well just incase
Surely this was right for me
After all what could go wrong
This ship could weather any storm
A great adventure awaited
So with the wind in my sails
I ventured where I’ve never been before
My mind already had an ideal location
I could see it, smell it, feel it
My imagination painted such a beautiful picture
Etched with happiness, contentment, security
This would be the life for me
I was sure God would agree
I thought what could be better
Oh how I thanked God
For the great plan He had for my life
How wonderful He is
I praised Him for how He had blessed me
I’m happy so this must be Gods will
I convinced myself
Even the sun celebrated with me
As it began to retire for the day
And painted golden shades of yellow
Mixed with burnt orange and red
Proving this world is a canvas to showcase Gods artistic love
Autumn colours now brought an autumn breeze
Cooler yet still beautiful
As it tried to take me in another direction
I kept a firm grip on my sails
I’m sure I’m still on the right track
This was Gods plan — right?
Onward I sailed towards my dream destination
But the once smooth waters now stirred
The gentle sway of my ship
Turned a little more fierce
Making it harder for me
To stay upon my feet
Discouragement, disappointment,
Fear, doubt overwhelmed me
I hadn’t planned for this
Surely if God called me
It should be all plain sailing
Winter waves now smashed into my hull
As anger rose in my heart
The sun had disowned me
Now hidden behind dark clouds
That wept upon me
Like the tears that flooded my heart
As I questioned ​“where are you God”
​“Are you here” ​“why“
I battled on anxiously navigating
My own way through the relentless violent storms
That came one after the other after the other
My unsinkable was breaking away
And the icy waters made me gasp for breath
And I cried out ​“God save me“
The few moments following I don’t recall
As if in a lapse of time
But in the midst of noisy chaos
In the dark of night
I heard a small whisper ​“do you trust Me”
​“yes God I do” I anxiously replied
​“Then let go of the shipwreck” He told me
​“I can’t God I will sink” I said desperately
And again I hear ” Do you really trust Me”
​“yes but can you sort this mess and then we can talk”
​“Let go of the shipwreck” He said once again
I realised in those moments
I must trust with my actions not my words
My fingers stiff with fear grasped the remnants of the ship — my safety
And I thought it’s all or nothing
So I made a choice to let go and let God
As the waters calmed the sun in the horizon stretched from slumber
To welcome a new day
To my surprise I realised I was now safely on shore
This wasn’t what I planned
Or where I expected to be
Yet I knew it was the beginning of my journey not the end
I didn’t know what was to come
But I knew He wanted to take me
To places I had never been
Deeper to where I alone
Could never navigate
He was to be the Captain of my ship
He would steer I would trust
So now when I begin to question
When I’m afraid to do as He asks
Or wait patiently for His direction
I remember in the midst of the storm
He is my captain, my anchor
Can I say YES with my actions
When fear tries to grip me
And His voice echos in my heart
​“Do you trust Me?”